Stories of Courage
I recently watched four different documentaries and read one book dealing with a really tough topic. Surely the last thing anyone wants about now is to hear about a tough topic! But I’m going to talk about it anyway – because tough topics merit looking into and raising awareness about. And this one is close to my heart.
The first two films focus on the USA gymnastics world and the abuse suffered by hundreds of young girls at the hand of their beloved and trusted team physician, Larry Nassar. Perhaps because among the abused are familiar names like Simone Byles and Aly Raisman, this scandal received worldwide attention several years ago.
If you want to see courage in action, the HBO film At the Heart of Gold shows Nassar’s victims speaking their impact statements directly to him in the courtroom (statements begin around minute 58). Once more, these young women were vulnerable in his presence, but this time, they held the power. No longer bound by innocence and secrecy, they had the power of solidarity and revealing the truth.
A similar film, Athlete A (see on Netflix) shows the investigative reporting that eventually exposed the systemic cover-up in the gymnastics community.
Much closer to home - the schools our children attend daily – are also venues where those in power can exploit and sexually abuse young people. We went through an eye-opening in 2004 with the exposure of abuse in churches, yet children still are deeply hurt in places meant to be safe. There is a culture of turning a blind eye toward this form of harm. Maybe because it’s sexual, we squirm away from it, or because to say something becomes messy.
Two recent documentaries focus on the manipulation and abuse ordinary teenage girls experienced by their trusted male teachers and coaches. Groomed (see on Discovery+) and Keep This Between Us (see on hulu) help us see that these are not ‘normal’ or healthy relationships between teachers and students, and the harm done takes a long time to heal.
A book published in 2021, Being Lolita, shows how easy it is to deceive a vulnerable teenager.
In so many cases, it takes years for survivors to come out and tell their stories. In part, they need time to grow up some, but more so, they need time to begin to heal. So, there is undoubtedly abuse going on right now that we won’t hear about for some years.
In my case, it took decades before I truly understood that what I experienced from age 14-18 was abuse; I thought we were in love! I thought I was special to my teacher, and he cared about me. For years after, I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me, why I couldn’t trust or be honest with other adults, and why I closed my heart to others.
It took time, hard work, and some loving influences in my adult life to heal and become – to feel like - a healthy, integrated human being. Part of piecing together the past and getting to the source of my pain was through writing. I labored over this project for years to prepare it, and myself, for sharing with the world.
My memoir will become available less than a year from now. I will likely share aspects of my process over the upcoming months – it is both daunting and empowering!
I know this is a tough subject, but if you have stuck with me this far, I welcome your thoughts.
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