When Change is Unwelcome
The fact that things change, they come and go, arise and pass away, are impermanent – this is a basic mindfulness teaching, one I’ve thought about often.
We can see it everywhere: day turns to night, weather comes and goes, we enjoy a meal and then it is gone, infancy turns to childhood, people are born and die. The list is endless. This fact of life helps me appreciate something I like while it’s here and helps me endure what I dislike knowing it will change.
But when change is unexpected AND unwanted AND close to home, it throws us off balance. It threw me off balance when Hurricane Ian devastated my beloved Sanibel Island in Florida this week. Sanibel is my home away from home, my refuge, my joy, my heart. Many of you know I have been going to Sanibel every year since before my (now adult) children were born, and we have a small condo tucked away there, waiting to welcome us whenever we can get there. Now the only causeway giving land access to the island that 6,700 people call home is washed out and will be unusable for the unknown future. What damage the rest of the island has suffered is still unknown. So many Florida communities are underwater and without power.
Hurricanes have been devastating communities forever. Because this one is close to home for me, I’m sad to say it captures my attention more than all the others. People around the world also suffered in every hurricane, tornado, fire, tsunami, and flood, and after a brief thought of concern, I all too easily thought about something else.
Ah, human nature. We stubbornly (I stubbornly) don’t exercise those empathy muscles nearly enough until I am directly impacted. For that, I am sorry. I am taking this as a lesson to pause longer in the face of others’ tragedy and loss and remember that they want to be safe, secure, healthy, and whole – just like me. Just like everyone. May all those impacted by Ian be safe, healthy, and comforted.
Natural disasters, accidents, illnesses, and deaths – these things that take away our life as we know it – are also part of what comes and goes, the impermanence of life. But boy, is it hard to live with it when it is right here. I find it humbling.
These unwanted changes and losses remind me that something else, something more, something changeless, is also here. Some people call this God, or love, or consciousness, faith, basic goodness, spirit, presence, something far greater and wiser than us, the ineffable – something many of us deeply sense is there and IS permanent – a true refuge for times of unwelcome change.
What refuges might you have, both those subject to impermanence like my Sanibel home, or those that transcend the impermanence of life?
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