A Little Wake-Up Call

Earlier this morning, I was going about my daily life, putting something into a lower kitchen cabinet, when suddenly, my back went into a spasm that took my breath away. I could not stand up straight or even move; I was frozen in place, bent over halfway, leaning on the counter to support my weight.

What is this?! It was so sudden, so out of the blue. I wondered if something in my body had broken. I wondered if I’d ever be able to move again. All the plans I had coming up flashed before my eyes, and I wondered if they were now lost to me … a lunch date, a class to teach, walks to take, a Springsteen concert, my son’s wedding … the kinds of things that we look forward to, and pretty much take for granted that we’ll do.

After slowly taking tentative small steps, applying ice, taking Advil, and the sharp pain easing some, I was relieved that I didn’t need a 911 call. Not so far.

This brought to mind how quickly things can change - in a heartbeat. And something valuable to us is lost. We blithely go about not considering how little control we actually have in any day, hour, or moment. Maybe that seems like a good thing. But I think my back spasm is a reminder to me of this truth of the impermanence of all things of this world.

As the Buddha taught: ‘Whatever has the nature to arise, has the nature to pass away.’ 

When it’s something we like, such as our health, our abilities, our loved ones, or our possessions (which are all of the nature to pass away), that is bad news to us. Yet it will all happen.

So, this reminder of the impermanence of things is actually a gift. It’s a wake-up call to notice, appreciate, enjoy, embrace, and delight in all those things we have that we like having, while we have them. And to hold them dearly and lightly at the same time.

I’m reading a book that addresses this idea very directly. A Year to Live: How to Live This Year as if it Were Your Last, by Stephen Levine, asks us to imagine what it would be like if we knew we had only one year of life left, with all our current abilities and life situation intact. How would that impact our choices, actions, and relationships – to ourselves, others, life, to God?

Its intent is not to depress us but to wake us up, to enliven us, to restore to us the wonder, beauty, and awe of our precious life.

So, today my back spasm is a little (thank God, it’s not bigger) wake-up call. A reminder to live from a place of gratitude and joy – just in case I forget.

How might having ‘a year to live’ impact your choices, actions, and relationships?

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