Unexpected Teachers

I was embarrassed, frustrated, resentful, defensive, discouraged, resigned, and back to embarrassed. What an array of lively disagreeable emotions! On a fine spring day this past May, they all coursed through me in a matter of seconds. Here’s why …

I have a serious problem with my lawn. And it is offering me a wonderful life lesson.

My front lawn is a veritable potpourri of weeds, some withered, some very hardy, all sprinkled among patches of dirt. They just came spontaneously to embarrass me, I am sure. Every day in May was a super-spreader event, sending dandelion seeds happily dancing onto my neighbors’ lush lawns. I am told I need a new lawn but must wait until the fall when lawns get properly planted.

Returning to the opening parade of emotions … turning the corner as I returned from a walk, the lawn loomed before me. Embarrassment, frustration, discouragement… I noticed them all flow through me. I took a breath.

Embarrassment feels like this.

Resentment feels like this.

Discouragement feels like this.

… and on and on.

I realize this is a trivial first-world problem, yet it provides practice for more serious situations. In response to this mundane ‘problem’, it’s not that difficult to pause, breathe, and notice that as I do so, all these flames inside me loosen their grip.

Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl writes: “Between stimulus and response lies a space. In that space lie our freedom and power to choose a response. In our response lies our growth and our happiness.”

How my front lawn looks matters less to me (why do we have lawns anyway?) than how I meet this situation. Sure, I’d prefer it to be different, and I have engaged a new, local company to fix things. Meanwhile, until replacement in early fall, I seem destined to live with it. To accept what is.

But what an excellent opportunity my lawn brings. I can notice and examine my relationship to this trivial issue that has the power to stir up an array of negative emotions. Every time I see my lawn and feel them, I can decide whether to spend time with lingering negativity or let it go. How I meet that moment becomes practice for how I might meet all the situations life brings.

Thank you, lawn! Thank you, meditation practice which can help me remember to pause and notice Viktor Frankl’s space.

What small things in your day spark feelings of frustration, irritation, and negativity? How do you meet them; what is your experience of that space between the stimulus and response?

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