Stop. Rest. Be.

I recently went on a week-long silent retreat.

Each day was a repeated schedule of sitting meditation (30-45 minutes) followed by walking meditation (30-45 minutes), sitting, walking, a meal, sitting, walking, sitting while hearing a talk, walking, sitting, walking, a meal, sitting, walking, sitting while hearing a talk, walking, and sitting.

All in silence. One hundred other people were doing the same thing, so I was far from alone, yet I was by myself. Just me and my mind, really. At first glance, that sounds pretty scary. But over the week and with the guidance of the teachers, it becomes fascinating. There is so much to notice, to learn.

It took three days just for my mind and body to settle into this rhythm. Then the magic began.

To begin, taking the social aspect off the table is huge. Not only was there no talking, but there was also the bare minimal interaction with the other 99 people; maybe to hold a door open or move aside a bit so someone could access the tea station; there was no eye contact. No one cared about anything I did -  the food I ate or didn’t eat, what I wore, where I walked, what posture I meditated in, if I skipped a sit. Eliminating the social element helps the ego let go of the constant selfing we tend to do all day long. It is so freeing.

Then there were the talks given by experienced teachers, offering the wisdom of the 2500-year-old tradition we call Buddhism. These teachings are designed to help us alleviate the struggle, pain, challenges, and suffering inherent in being human. When we understand our minds better, we see with greater clarity the ways we get in our own way as we go through daily life, and with practice, we can step aside with a little bit of grace.

It is not always easy or pleasant to look into our own minds, yet it is the way to freedom. This becomes very clear as the week progresses, and everything slows way down. For me, slowing down opens new doors; I see the stories I make up, I see my foibles, my habits of mind and body, I see the stuck places. Once seen, these patterns lose their grip just a bit, and new healthier, easier, clearer ways of being emerge.

Here is the formula I discovered for myself during this retreat to help do this in ‘real life’, when not in the refined atmosphere of the retreat center, but when I am in my messy world and life:

Stop. Rest. Be.

How often do I do this in my life? Being the Type-A personality that I am, I rarely slow down enough to see what I’m doing or to know what I’m really feeling. Busyness is like a drug that can numb me from the deeper experience of life – all of it, the joys and the sorrows.

So, I stop. In actual resting, breathing and feeling become known. In the being, insight, wisdom, and clarity emerge.

Simply being is not a waste of time; it is one of the most life-affirming, illuminating, and downright helpful things one can do.

Stop. Rest. Be.

What is your experience of just being? How do you get there?

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