Devotion

What does devotion mean? The word carries charge for many; some people are drawn to the word and have a warm association with it, while others find it off-putting, maybe even frightening.

For a long time, I was in camp off-put. But things have changed.

I find myself wanting to demystify it and bring it into my life more fully; to embrace it.

To what do we devote ourselves: our jobs, our families, our homes, financial stability, living a good life, our health, our friendships. Some of us devote ourselves to our sense of God, our spiritual practice, nature, the mystery, and the transcendent. Some of us devote ourselves to propping up our egos or to just making ourselves feel better.

Maybe that’s part of why, at this time of year, we collectively encourage ourselves to spend time being thankful. (As though the rest of the year, we can sail along without a moment of intentional gratitude.) Gratitude feels good. Gratitude is a practice of the heart. Research shows that regularly feeling gratitude releases brain hormones that reduce stress, enhance sleep, and stabilize mood.  

For me, intentional, deeply felt gratitude leads to awe, and awe leads to devotion. I am awed by life, by so many mysteries, things we don’t and perhaps can never understand completely. We think we know how the body works and how to heal it when something disrupts ‘normal working’. We think we know how the global ecosystem works, how economies of the world work, and what makes people choose the things they choose and act the way they act. We think we know what love is, what grace is, or what God is. For me, these remain mostly a mystery. I think there are forces at work in this world, this life, that we understand very little, despite our trying.

I am grateful for it all, for what we know and what we don’t know. For what works and what doesn’t work. I am grateful I get to be part of the mystery, that I get to be here at all. And my gratitude brings me to my knees, to bow in respect, honor, and devotion.

So, I am not so afraid of the word devotion anymore. I find I don’t have the time, energy, or inclination to worry about it. These days, I am awed. I am grateful. I feel devotion. I am devoted to life, love, the mystery, the aspiration of the good heart, to that which binds us all together despite our flaws and even our meanness. I believe that even under the meanness, we are reaching for love, safety, connection, and what is life-affirming. Maybe meanness is misdirected devotion – an imprisoned urge to love?

What does devotion mean to you these days?

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